An Ode to Señor Don Gato

A couple of weekends ago, I had one of those LONG telephone conversations that I think only sisters and/or the best of friends can truly enjoy. For four hours on a Friday evening, from eight o’clock until nearly midnight, we giggled and chattered, reminisced about our shared childhood, and finished one another’s sentences. I was simply enjoying her company, and I believe she was enjoying the distraction from the reality that my poor niece had been hit with a stomach bug and had been vomiting at regular intervals since dinnertime.

Now if you know me and my sister well, you’ll know that we have freakish memories for obscure trivia, movie lines, song lyrics, and the like. Remember the McDonalds promotion sometime back in the late eighties where they gave away records with a song listing all of the menu items, and a chance to win a prize? We spent hours and nearly played that little vinyl to death in the process of memorizing it, and to this day, we both remember it in full. “Big Mac, McDLT, a Quarter Pounder with some cheese, Fillet o’Fish, a hamburger, a cheeseburger, a Happy Meal, McNuggets, tasty golden French fries (regular and larger sizes), salads Chef or Garden, or a Chicken Salad Oriental, Big Big Breakfast, Egg McMuffin, Hot Hot Cakes with sausage, maybe biscuits (Bacon, Egg, and Cheese), a Danish, sausage, hash browns too, and for dessert hot apple pies, and sundaes (three varieties!), a soft serve cone, three kinds of shakes, and chocolaty chip cookies, and to drink a Coca-Cola, Diet Coke, and Orange Drink, a Sprite, a coffee (Decaf too), a low fat milk, also an orange juice, I love McDonalds 'Good Time Great Taste' and I get this all at one place!”

Whew! Never could do it all in one breath, but there it is (perhaps the longest run-on sentence in world history) fresh from the recesses of my brain. Our other classic is the warning label from the bottom of our kitchen chairs: “NOTICE: Only the resilient filling materials contained in this article meet California Bureau of Home Furnishings flammability requirements. Care should be exercised near open flame and with burning cigarettes.” That little joke originated one day when we were home alone and my sister was lying on the kitchen floor pretending (in big sister fashion) that she either had a concussion or had gone into some altered mental state. She just looked catatonic and kept repeating that warning over and over. Eventually I figured out her trick and we committed it to memory. The joke is so long-standing expect that whichever of us lives longest might just end up including it in our eulogy for the other.

Weird? Yes. Definitely. No question there. Whenever I hear that the average human only uses 10% of their brain, I get slightly worried that upwards of 7-8% of mine might be filled up with “Princess Bride” and Monty Python quotes, the plots and punch lines from just about every episode of “Friends” ever made, LOTR and Battlestar Galactica trivia, and a plethora of song lyrics.

Anyhow, in the course of our reminiscing, my sister and I tried singing our mutual favorite song from grade school music class, a little ditty called “Señor Don Gato.” We had no trouble with the first, second, and third verses, and most of the sixth. We struggled with the fourth and fifth verses, though, and were just about to give up for the evening and head towards our respective beds. We said goodnight, hung up, and I had started washing my face when suddenly a flash of the missing words light up my brain like a lightening bolt. I scrambled for the phone, dialed, and without preamble nearly shouted “It’s something about doctors holding a consultation…How does it go??” By then there was such a bee in her bonnet that she climbed out of bed and Googled “Don Gato lyrics” and quickly found what we were seeking. It seems the song is (or was) quite popular in grade school music class repertoires, and whole generations of adults probably have that song tickling at the backs of their minds. Should you care to do so, it’s even available for download on iTunes.

So, Ladies & Gentlemen, without further ado, here they are in full…my tribute to sisterhood and a noggin full of memories… the lyrics to the song about the lovesick kitty, Señor Don Gato. If you know it, sing along! :o)

Oh Señor Don Gato was a cat
On a high red roof Don Gato sat
He went there to read a letter
(Meow, meow, meow)
Where the reading light was better
(Meow, meow, meow)
'Twas a love note for Don Gato

I adore you wrote the lady cat
Who was fluffy, white and nice and fat
There was not a sweeter kitty
(Meow, meow, meow)
In the country or the city
(Meow, meow, meow)
And she said she'd wed Don Gato

Oh, Don Gato jumped so happily
He fell off the roof and broke his knee
Broke his ribs and all his whiskers
(Meow, meow, meow)
And his little solar plexus
(Meow, meow, meow)
“Ay Caramba,” cried Don Gato

Then the doctors all came on the run
Just to see if something could be done
And they held a consultation
(Meow, meow, meow)
About how to save their patient
(Meow, meow, meow)
How to save Señor Don Gato

But in spite of everything they tried
Poor Señor Don Gato up and died
And it wasn't very merry
(Meow, meow, meow)
Going to the cemetery
(Meow, meow, meow)
For the ending of Don Gato

When the funeral passed the market square
Such a smell of fish was in the air
Though his burial was slated
(Meow, meow, meow)
He became reanimated
(Meow, meow, meow)
He came back to life, Don Gato