Waxing Sentimental

Not quite sure why, but lately I've been waxing sentimental ...and no, I don't mean I've been getting misty-eyed over past hair removal attempts.

Perhaps it's that I'm nearly 30 and still single, which is significantly different than the timeline for my life that I had planned. More on my timing vs. God's timing later....

Anyhow, one tall, strapping, red-headed lad keeps coming to mind. He and I were close while I was nearing the end of my college career and he was just starting. Then seemingly out of the blue he ended not only any potential for the relationship to turn romantic, but ended the friendship altogether. I was devastated to say the least, floundering and unsure of my path as graduation approached, and feeling like I would be entering the unknown without my best friend by my side.

The following poem was one I wrote that year in the midst of my heartache. I have no idea where he is now. I've only seen him once in the last 7 years, in passing at a county fair where he was walking hand in hand with another young woman and wouldn't make eye contact although I was sure he saw me. Wherever he is, I hope that he is finding his way in this world and that he is truly happy.

You granted me an empty hello
As you passed me by
Doled it out as if it were a gift
Eagerly I snatched it up
This morsel, this crumb
Your name rose to my lips
Once sweet and gratifying to utter
Now unsavory
I echoed your greeting
But those two words, however small
Choked me
Then escaping, fell on your stone ears
Casual indifference framed your features
Betraying not the guilt I prayed I'd see
Not a hint of a smile played
On those lips that mingled with mine
Mercilessly capturing my affection
One clear March night
Back when you were real
And so today I continued
Down the path you cut for me
A hollow woman
Empty as your hello

Get out of my brain!

My dear friend Bethy McBethles and I have that tendency, as do many folks who spend much time in close company, to find that we are thinking the same thing at the same moment, and even have the words pop out simultaneously, often with the very same intonations. Silly and goofy, yes. Occasionally weird, yes. But mostly just plain old good for a laugh! One of my favorite of her exclamations on these occasions is, "Get out of my brain! You're leaving squishy footprints!"

Somehow that seemed quite appropriate for a blog in which I'm essentially letting you into my brain. So please, look around. Explore. Just don't wear like soccer cleats or track spikes, or stillettos 'cuz... ouch! :o)